|The Dinosaur Cookbook|
Bookseller: The Dinah Shore Cookbook?
Customer: That must be it; I wondered what she was up to.
Jen Campbell, who works in a bookshop in North London, collected some of the funny and weird things requested by customers. She had so many she turned them into a book called Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops.
Here are a few more examples:
Do you have any pop-up books on sex education?
Do you have this children's book I've heard about? It's supposed to be very good. It's called Lionel Richie And The Wardrobe.
Customer: Hi, have you seen my wife in here?
Bookseller: Erm, I have lots of wives in here, what does yours look like?
Customer: She's let herself go a bit, is short and her roots are showing.
I read a book in the Sixties. I don't remember the author, or the title. But it was green, and it made me laugh. Do you know which one I mean?
Customer: Do you have a copy of Jane Eyre?
Bookseller: Actually I just sold it this morning, sorry.
Customer: Oh, have you read it?
Bookseller: Yes, it's one of my favourite books.
Customer: Oh, great (he sits down). Could you tell me all about it? I have to write an essay on it.
Customer: Have you read every single book here?
Bookseller: No, I can't say I have.
Customer: Well you're not very good at your job are you?
Customer: Where do you keep your maps?
Bookseller: Over here, what kind of map are you looking for? A country. the UK, Europe, a world map?
Customer: I want a map of the sun.
Where do you keep Hamlet? You know 'to be or not to be?' Is it in philosophy?
Do you have a book which lists the weather forecast for the rest of the year?
Do you have any books in this shade of green, to match the wrapping paper I bought?
So ... this Kindle. Are the books on that hardback or paperback?
Customer: Do you have any medical textbooks?
Bookseller: Sorry, no. They go out of date so quickly we don't stock them, but I can order one in for you.
Customer: I'm not worried about it being in date.
Bookseller: Does your university not request you have a specific edition?
Customer: Oh, I'm not a medical student. I just want to learn how to do stitches.
Bookseller: ... Right.
Customer: Do you have a book on sewing instead?
Do you sell reading books? You know, books you can read?
And so the weird requests go on and on!