Saturday, May 11
Grumpy Mike And A Happy Blonde Called Tina
With my name being Mike I'm supposed to be unhappy, but if I was named Steve and was a teacher living in Edinburgh I'd be full of happiness.
Yes, it's yet another study or survey. This time by Cadbury Heroes, and it's all about discovering who are the happiest people in Britain.
Let's start with names. The Happiest Men are called Steve, Norman, Tom, Alan and Ken and the Unhappiest Men are Gary, Chris, Mike, Mark and Ian - huh!
With women it might be an idea to avoid Tina, Rebecca, Alison, Caroline and Emma. They're an unhappy bunch but Wendy, Lesley, Sandra, Anne and Mary are bubbling over with happiness.
As for major towns they found those living in Southampton, Cardiff and Edinburgh were the most cheerful, while residents in Newcastle, Liverpool and Norwich were a bit glum.
A spokesperson from Cadbury said, "We also found men were happier than women, while singletons - who may be footloose and fancy free - were not as happy as those who were married."
And the happiest age to be? Those approaching retirement or in their 70s are happier than people in their 20s.
Blue-eyed people see things through rose-tinted glasses, and people who wear glasses are cheerier than those who don't, it is claimed.
Does anyone really believe this stuff? It's enough to make any Mike living in the south-west of Britain quite grumpy, if he wasn't already of course.
Other Survey Posts:
Top Ten Regrets In Life
Your House Value Equals The First Letter Of Your Street
The Danger Of The Letter Z In Car Registration Plates