Does Existence Always Bring Unhappiness?

I've been thinking about the  Four Noble Truths in Buddhism. The first of which is: Existence is unhappiness.

I can't really get my head round this: why has there to be unhappiness?  I feel that I'm mostly happy but, there again, as with most people, I've had moments of great sadness.

As often happens when we dwell on something, I started reading something - The Teachings of the Compassionate Buddha with a commentary by E,A, Burtt. No idea where I got the book from but it's been in a pile for, well, several years,

Anyway, E.A Burtt writes:

"What is is that Buddha is telling the world here. First, that by the mere fact of being born under the conditions of finite existence every creature is subject to the evils of sickness, old age, and death, and to the sadness that comes when his loved ones are stricken with these ills. These inevitable occasions of unhappiness constitute the problem of life."

All very well, but how do we overcome these 'evils'. Perhaps if we truly believed in eternity, I thought, maybe that would be the answer. Eternity would mean that sickness, the deaths of loved ones and so on would be only temporary. For the sickness would be overcome and we would see our loved ones again in eternity.

E.A Burtt writes, however,

But they [those evils] would not make us unhappy were it not for the blind demandingness in our nature which leads us to ask the universe, for ourselves and those specially dear to us, more than it is ready to give. Moreover it is the same unrealistic and selfish craving which, frustrated as it inevitably becomes, moves us to act in ways that increase the unhappiness of others.

Not sure about that but, to cut a long story and waffle short, the answer to our inevitable unhappiness is treading the eight steps of the right path. These are:

1. Right understanding
2. Right purpose
3. Right speech
4. Right conduct
5. Right vocation
6. Right effort
7. Right alertness
8. Right concentration

This would ultimately lead to us no longer being subject to rebirth and we would enter Nirvana.

Okay, but Nirvana is also eternity, which is what I suggested we should perhaps believe in, to overcome those 'evils'.

But what is Nirvana?

"Nirvana is not to be conceived as sheer extinction but as the state naturally produced by the destruction of tanha - a state marked on the positive side by a sense of liberation, inward peace and strength, insight into truth, the joy of complete oneness with reality, and love toward all creatures in the universe."

I've rambled on for long enough. But does existence here on Earth have to equate to unhappiness? Surely not.

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A Patent Dodge On How to Make Yourself Happy In 2015

In a recent post I mentioned an article in the Daily Mail about Britain's nicest man. It's about a guy who did a good turn for someone every day for a year. But really this is nothing new.

Back in 1941, it was suggested that Cubs (young scouts) should do a good turn every day. And I just happen to have a copy of The Cub Book which proves this (I like old books and magazines). It was part of the Cub Law:

"I promise to do my best

To do my duty to God, and the King,

To keep the Law of the Wolf Cub Pack,

and to do a good turn to somebody every day."

Lord Baden-Powell, the Scout's founder, also said that doing a good turn is the way to be happy. He wrote:

"Wolf Cubs have a patent dodge of making themselves happy. How do you suppose they do it?

By running about and playing Wolf Cub games? By going out into camp? By exploring the country? By getting to know the ways of animals and birds?

Yes, they do all these things, and make themselves happy: but they still have a better way than that. It is very simple. They do it by making other people happy.

That is to say, every day they do a kindness to someone. It does not matter who the person is (so long as it is not themselves!) - friend or stranger, man, woman, or child; though like the Knights of old, they prefer to do it for a woman of child.

And the kindness, or good turn, need not be a big thing ...

... But whatever you do, you must not take any reward for doing it. If you take money for it, it is not a good turn, but just a piece of work that has been paid for."

So Britain's (so called) nicest man, and those who talk about doing random acts of kindness are simply copying the old Cub Law.

Some of the old fashioned principles are still valid today. Doing something for others does make us happy - fact! As long as we do it willingly and of our own free will.

Sounds the basis for a good New Year's Resolution.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

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The Meaning Of Life And How To Attain Happiness

As I have written previously, when my best friend died his wife gave me his spiritual books and booklets. He belonged to healing groups and was a reflexologist. I was looking through some of these recently - they are all quite old - and came across the meaning of life!

Okay, perhaps only one version of what life might just be about. We all have our own ideas.

I'll quote from a booklet from 1973 called 'Within You Is The Power':

"The true object of life is that man may attain wisdom through experience ..."

It goes on to say that: "Life is a paradox; the true object of life is not the attainment of happiness, yet if we attain the true object of life we find happiness."

If we aren't simply freaks of nature, which I don't think we are, then the guy who wrote the booklet is right. We are here, at this time, to learn. It's why we have our ups and downs. If everything was always smooth sailing life would be pretty pointless. It's our experiences which make us what we are. Or, as the writer of the booklet, put it:

"... the sole object of life is the building of character and the attainment of wisdom through experience."

As for the happiness part:

"The desire for happiness is good, for it leads us through innumerable experiences so that the soul can realize, by practical experience, the emptiness of all self-seeking, and thus learn wisdom. After running the whole gamut of experience the soul learns at last that happiness is not something that can be found by seeking it, but is an inward mental state."

So there we have it: the meaning of life and how to find real happiness.

Simple!

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Grumpy Mike And A Happy Blonde Called Tina

With my name being Mike I'm supposed to be unhappy, but if I was named Steve and was a teacher living in Edinburgh I'd be full of happiness.

Yes, it's yet another study or survey. This time by Cadbury Heroes, and it's all about discovering who are the happiest people in Britain.

Let's start with names. The Happiest Men are called Steve, Norman, Tom, Alan and Ken and the Unhappiest Men are Gary, Chris, Mike, Mark and Ian - huh!

With women it might be an idea to avoid Tina, Rebecca, Alison, Caroline and Emma. They're an unhappy bunch but Wendy, Lesley, Sandra, Anne and Mary are bubbling over with happiness.

As for major towns they found those living in Southampton, Cardiff and Edinburgh were the most cheerful, while residents in Newcastle, Liverpool and Norwich were a bit glum.

A spokesperson from Cadbury said, "We also found men were happier than women, while singletons - who may be footloose and fancy free - were not as happy as those who were married."

And the happiest age to be? Those approaching retirement or in their 70s are happier than people in their 20s.

The survey claims to have found evidence for the old adage that blondes have more fun, finding that the lighter someone’s hair colour is the more it impacts on their happiness levels.

Blue-eyed people see things through rose-tinted glasses, and people who wear glasses are cheerier than those who don't, it is claimed.

Does anyone really believe this stuff? It's enough to make any Mike living in the south-west of Britain quite grumpy, if he wasn't already of course.

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You Can Feed People With Love

I've often thought and written how good it would be if we all did something every day to help others.  Must be from my old Boy Scout training, where we could tie a knot in our neckerchief if we had done a good deed that day.  Mind you, I didn't stay long with the Scouts once I fully realised there were girls in the world! But Cath Webb has put the theory of helping others into action, and has taken on a mission to do something every day to help the needy.

Cath, from Hale in England, is making a sponge cake for someone every day.  And she's been doing this, without fail, since the 6th of April 2011.  She set out to do this as a one year 'mission'.  So the homeless, hospital staff, the needy and so on have benefited.

It all started from when a good friend was diagnosed with breast cancer.  She wasn't sure what to say to her so she made her a Victoria sponge and left it in her friend's porch, together with a note.

Her friend's reply by text touched Cath deeply. It simply read: "You can feed people with love."


Cath has a job as a teacher, a husband and three children but nothing has stopped her to date from completing her daily task. She said, "My husband was typically grumpy about it to start with, he kept moaning about how much it was costing with ingredients and he's had to do all the washing and ironing for months because I haven't had time."


"But on days when I've felt like giving in - like the time I sat in the kitchen and felt like weeping because I had come home without any sugar - he has stepped in and gone out in the dark to the shops for me, or helped deliver cakes."

Cath even baked her cakes while on holiday in Cornwall over a camp fire!  There's always a way if we really want to do something.

The mission will end after baking 366 cakes.  She says about this, "I won't feel relieved. It's been a really incredible, uplifting experience and I will be very sad when it comes to an end."

The side effect of doing something for others is that it usually reaps benefits for us, as individuals or groups, as well - though this shouldn't be the aim of our efforts. It's just good to feed people with love.

Further Reading:
Woman Donates A Kidney To A Stranger
How Thoughts Become Things
Did You Bring Joy?

Smile And The World Smiles With Us

A quickie Sunday post photo as a reminder that, if we smile the world smiles with us. Have a happy day.

Ants In The Pursuit Of Happiness

In principle I suppose I don't approve of graffiti but sometimes it can be amusing or even meaningful and artistic.

I saw these graffiti, or maybe it's street art, examples in Crete. The first is on rock face steps which have the legend 'This way for Pursuit Of Happiness'. The ants have certainly taken this message to heart. There is a constant stream of them crossing the words - as can be seen by the enlarged section of the photo below. They are even taking their young with them in pursuit of happiness!


But some street art is a bit classier as these two from someone who signs as Gouro. Both found on walls in Crete.

Kindness Plus Gratitude Equals A Trouble-Free Life

On Monday - see post - I mentioned gratitude, the keeping of a Gratitude Journal and so on. I think most readers to a blog such as this will feel that being grateful is a positive trait which can be beneficial to the individual and perhaps to the larger world as well.

Likewise kindness is also beneficial and, what's more, scientists now agree - well at least some of them do.

There has been a study carried out at the University of Sussex's Mindlab, the research being carried out by psychologist Dr David Lewis.

His findings seem to establish that people who do good deeds, such as helping a neighbour or doing charity work, experience less anger and stress and feel more positive and self confident.

Dr Lewis said, "Being more considerate can reduce stress levels. Effects of stress on the body are well documented: it can suppress the immune system, lead to a rise in blood pressure, increase risk of heart attack and stroke, and contribute to infertility."

The doc's conclusion is: "Therefore to improve our chances of being healthy we should all start doing good to others today."

By coincidence I just read that Harvard University have shown that helping others also makes us mentally tougher and physically stronger. Problem is that they have also shown here that evil deeds improve physical performance as well. Though they did conclude, "Helping others may be the best way of regaining control of your own life."

Personally I feel that kindness works wonders in a positive way. Though we should probably show kindness without the thought of any reward or return I believe that the old adage about what we give we also receive is true.

Even if we don't necessarily believe this there can be no denying that when we do something good for others it makes us feel good and this is, therefore, very uplifting.

I know people who do random acts of kindness and reckon it has improved their lives no end.

I guess the thing about kindness is that it doesn't have to cost money. It can be a smile, a compliment, a helping hand, flowers or fruit from your garden and a myriad of other things.

Once we start showing kindness (and gratitude) it sets off a chain reaction. I mentioned something along these lines in my post Miles Of Smiles And Butterflies.

Whether wanting spiritual enlightenment or simply a happier more trouble-free life I would say that gratitude and kindness are two essentials.

Further Reading:
Gratitude The Sacred Secret And The Law Of Attraction
Seed Money Brings A Tenfold return
A Woman In a Yellow Dress Reminds Me What Happiness Is All About

It's Going To Be A Special Day

It was pelting down with rain this morning here in Cornwall but my wife and I still went out for a walk. We met a neighbour who said, "What a miserable day."

For an instant I nearly agreed with her. Then I realised I wasn't the least bit miserable and the day was actually pretty good. It's our son's birthday and he has invited all the family over to his house for a barbecue - okay, that might not work out - but it'll still be a fun time, lots of laughs plus I'll see everyone including my wonderful 18 day old grandson.

Family, laughter, something good to eat, maybe a glass of red wine - what could be more perfect!

This all reminded me of something I'd been reading amongst my clippings file yesterday. I believe it was by David J Schwartz but I'm not 100% sure. Anyway, this is what it reads:

"One morning I was driving my son, David, to school. It was a rainy, relatively cold day. The radio was tuned to the news and weather station.

The weather man was saying, 'Sorry folks, but we've got bad weather in store for you today. And to make things even worse, we hold no hope for any relief in the next 48 hours. It's going to continue to be damp, cold and unpleasant. It may freeze and if it does, we're in for real trouble ...'

When he finally finished, David, who is 9, turned to me and said, "Dad, why doesn't that man let us decide what sort of day it is? I thought it was pretty exciting, but hearing him almost makes me feel we ought to stay home and go to bed."

David didn't know it was a 'bad' day until the weather man told him it was."

Doesn't this just illustrate how other people, and the media in general, can alter our judgement of how things are? Guess it's up to us not to let them.

Have a very special day!

Further Reading:
A Woman Wearing A Yellow Dress Reminds Me What Happiness Is

A Woman Wearing A Yellow Dress Reminds Me What Happiness Is All About

I was about to sit down to dinner with my wife when I had this clear picture in my mind of a woman wearing a yellow dress. She was someone we had seen some seven or eight years ago, while in the village of Lindos on the Greek island of Rhodes.

At the time we had been staying in a fisherman's cottage built into the mountain side overlooking the village. Lindos is on a hill which seems to erupt from the blue sea with sparkling white houses glistening in the sunshine and peaked by a monastery. It's a very magical place.

One day we had been to the beach for the morning, swimming in the clear water and generally enjoying the sunshine. In the early afternoon we strolled back to the village and in the main square a wedding group were forming after the ceremony. Music started to play and there was laughter and happiness everywhere.

We decided to have a glass of red wine and watch what was going on. It was a real Zorba the Greek occasion and the wedding guests were soon dancing and enjoying themselves. Amongst them was a woman wearing a yellow dress.

She was so radiant that she stood out from the other guests. She danced, laughed and sizzled with being alive and enjoying the moment. Even as outsiders my wife and I couldn't help but get caught up in the moment - and, for some reason, I was transported back to this scenario when sitting down to dinner a couple of nights ago.

I said to my wife, "Do you remember that woman in the square in Lindos?"

"Oh yes," she replied, "The one with the yellow dress. We had such a fun time in Lindos, didn't we? Do you also remember ...."

And over dinner we relived our time in Rhodes.

It's always odd how an image from the past can form in the mind. When I went to my office later that evening I pulled out some papers from a file and there amongst them was the programme to a play we saw last year at the Minack Theatre.

The play was called The Greek and it was roughly based on Zorba the Greek and how a young studious traveller meets up with the life loving Alexis Zorba.

The author Nikos Kazantzakis wrote:

"We stayed silent by the brazier until far into the night. I felt once more how simple and frugal a thing is happiness: a glass of wine, a roast chestnut, a wretched little brazier, the sound of the sea. Nothing else. And all that is required to feel that happiness here and now is a simple frugal heart."

I feel that my mind's picture, of the woman in the yellow dress, combined with The Greek programme was there to remind me what happiness is all about - and that sometimes, perhaps, I take life a little too seriously.

The Minack Theatre, Porthcurno, Cornwall on the night I saw The Greek